Application for a work permit
for the greater Dorenbach/Schützenmatt area

English version

Work desired:
    Computer programmer
    I will do anything the Swiss don't want to do

    Collecting the tops of individual-serving coffee cream containers
    Sweeping the street in front of my house
    Clucking disapprovingly at bad behavior
    Spying on my neighbors

What time do you go to bed?
    After 20.30

Have you ever committed any of the following serious crimes?
    Hanging up washing on Sunday
    Putting rubbish out more than 24 hours in advance
    Speaking loudly on a tram
    Not removing labels from wine bottles before recycling them
    Not flattening PET bottles before recycling them
    Being a foreigner

Your educational level:
    Master's degree

Select one of the following work training programs:
    McDonald's cashier (3 year apprenticeship)
    Denner checkout clerk (4 year apprenticeship)
    Street sweeper (8 year apprenticeship)
    Chemist (3 month apprenticeship) [ Would you be willing to take the blame for the next Rhine disaster? Yes ]

Please hand in this form and report to the nearest Washing Kitchen Police Office (Waschküchepolizeistelle) for the 30-minute examination in cleaning the washing kitchen.