Sorry for the obscurity. My point was that in DC, a scuffle where someone gets bruised and a window gets broken does not make page three -- or any page -- of the newspaper. I think it's accurate to say that in nightclubs in DC, on a monthly or even weekly basis, people get shot and knifed... and if it's not accurate, reading the newspaper would not disabuse you of the notion.
Washingtonpost.com requires registration, but if you go to the crime news for today, after two political items (beltway-insider corruption, crackdown on brothels) we get "Marshal Charged With Beating Prisoner, Coverup", "Man Once Held on Rape Charges Is Rearrested", "FAIRFAX POLICE STATION SLAYINGS", another murder, "Police Still Seek Suspect In Shooting at Murry's", "One Man Arrested, 2nd Sought In Shooting That Wounded 7", "DUPONT CIRCLE AREA SLAYING", "Actions Taken To Make Path Safer: Va.'s Four Mile Run Area Is Site of 3 Sexual Assaults", "MONTGOMERY HOMICIDE", "'Killing Machine' Sentenced To Death: Defendant Shot 3 In Dumfries; 2 Died", "Credibility Is Key to Md. Shooting Case".
That's all August 4th through August 7th. It goes on, but nothing less serious than rape and murder makes the list. This is the crime section, not page three. Grand larceny, for instance, is not news (I love reading the Swiss crime news about theft of lengths of pipe from a construction site).
Fisticuffs are so not news, they would not even be gossip if you went to that bar, unless you knew the participants personally. And then they would be funny gossip.
Now, part of this is surely moving from a largish East Coast city to anywhere else. What if I had moved from a small town in the Midwest? Depends on the town: crime page for Youngstown pop. 80,000. (Shout out to Chris Barzak, busy making a difference there). Now there's some high-profile sports cases mixed in with the murders. Still no fisticuffs, though. (The exception would be Hollywood celebs engaging in fisticuffs. That's news. But then, so is what they wear.)
How's that fernweh doing? :-)